Helen and Marcus are Pudding. I asked Mike butler (a man with many records) if he knew a human who could clap in time and sing in tune who would be able to stand being near me. Mike smugly exceeding the brief, certainly with the first two requirements, mentioned Helen.

Marcus went round to mend my brothers gate, moved into his house, joined pudding and married Helen. They are very slowly making a big record upstairs with the bad engineer.

They did make a small CD in 2000. its called "A little Christmas Eve Thieving." The cover was very expensive. Here are the words and here it is.

>> lyric sheet

>> pudding mp3 [ 3.38 MB ]

Pudding also sing "Policeman" on it. You can buy a copy from here if you like.

I asked Helen what she'd like me to write for her. She requested 'a miserable song please.' - which was kind to both of us. At that time I don't think I could have written anything else at all but I knew I could probably write the most miserable song that had ever been writted as long as it could also be uneventful. Helen said that would be fine.

It is best sung in jovial company with the "Misery Scarf" held aloft, arms outstretched , whilst swaying. The misery scarf is long and grey with misery written along it with in strong black letters. I wear one in the winter and little else in the summer.

All profits from the scarf will help pay for my planned misery suit.

 25.07.02

Pudding are still upstairs with the bad engineer. They keep having to stop singing because their baby ( which one of them is holding ) either cries or exclaims. She doesent really like being held by the bad engineer. Here are the lyrics to "Lovely Dog"

He was walking with you
He walked over to me
Hes walking with me
Youve not got your lovely dog

You look like a lonely man
You look lonely because
youve not got your lovely dog

You look lost and lonely
Lost and lonely because
Youve not got your lovely dog
I've got your lovely dog

We walk past your house
You look out of your house
Youve not got your lovely dog
Ive got your lovely dog

When he runs out of the river
Heshakes off the water with a shiver that
Starts with a flick of the tail and
Ripples over the rows of his ribs
All the way to a quiver of his nose

 25.02.03

And here they are at home......